How Do I Choose the Right Site For Me?

With the explosion of online dating sites has come a virtual smorgasbord of choices. There are free sites… I don’t recommend those but if money is a real concern, they are better than nothing. There are the large paid sites with many and varied features like chat, IM and even matching using profiles. There are the less expensive paid sites with few features. There are special interest sites for almost any thing you can think of...outdoor enthusiasts, couch potatoes, religious, non-religious, gays, lesbians…like I said…almost anything you can think of. So what’s a girl to do? A girl should choose the site or sites that best fit her needs.

Here are some things to consider:

• Cost. How much do you want or how much can you spend each month for your membership (s)?

• Features. Which features are the most important to you?

1. Profile matching systems. Is this a feature you really want or would you rather decide who is right for you all by yourself?
2. Chat and IM’s? There are websites who offer chat rooms and IM’s on their sites. Does that matter or would you be happy just sticking to private email.
3. Outside Events…such as speed dating? Are you interested in that?
4. Privacy. Some websites allow you to limit who can view your picture or your profile. Does this matter to you or do you want as wide exposure as you can have?
5. Safety. There are websites who do background checks of all subscribers and certify their age, marital status and background. Would you feel safer using this feature?
   

These are a few things but not all things you should consider when choosing an online dating service or services. Do your homework and choose wisely for the best results for you.

Blind Date vs Internet Date

Your friend has decided that you need help with your social life so she sets you up with a blind date….a friend of a friend of a friend. You, foolishly, accept. Now there you are. It’s less than one hour since you were introduced. You are sitting in a Thai restaurant and you hate Thai food. The entrée has not yet been served. His idea of enlightened conversation is who will be in the final four…you aren’t into sports. He knows the weekly TV schedule verbatim….you haven’t sat through a movie in months because you run marathons and volunteer at the local food bank. He says, “Volunteering is a waste of time because you can’t help ‘those people’ anyway.” You look at your watch; see that it’s only been 10 minutes since you last looked at it the last time and wonder how long it is before you can gracefully remove yourself from the situation. Been there?

Now imagine a date with someone you met through internet dating and have been chatting online with and exchanging emails with for quite some time. First, you don’t need to be introduced. You already know this man. You are sitting in an Italian restaurant enjoying a delightful meal because you both know that the other’s favorite is Italian. The conversation flows easily as you discuss common interests. He runs marathons and loves history just like you do. You happily discuss the volunteer work that each of you is involved in. You look at your watch and discover that it is late…very late…where Has the time gone.

There is a big difference between a well-intentioned friend “setting you up” and choosing a man for yourself who shares your interests and tastes, isn’t there? Now which one would you rather have? Click here...for complete article

A Woman's "Don'ts" of Online Dating

There are some things that women should never do while engaged in an online relationship with a man. These things are certain to put a quick and final end to any further communications with him.

While chatting online or by email do not write your life story. His eyes will glaze over and he will fall out of his chair. Keep it short and sweet until he asks for details…then provide them slowly and only answer the questions he asks. For instance: If he asks how many siblings you have, he is NOT asking for the details of your interaction with them. He really just wants to know how many you have. Say you have 2 (or whatever is true) and then ask how many he has. For every question he asks you, you should ask one of him. Nothing turns a man off like a long- winded woman who just doesn’t know when to shut up or how to listen.

Never, ever, EVER lie. I really believe that lies will catch up with you sooner or later. Many women (and men) lie about their age, marital status, employment, height, weight and a host of other things in their online profiles. That is a huge mistake. If you find a man who you are really interested in, he will find out you lied and there goes any possibility of the relationship progressing. So, just be honest. There is someone out there who will like you…even come to love you…for exactly the person you are.

Don’t be too eager. It makes you look desperate and it really puts a man off. They are first and foremost conquerors and if getting the person of their desires to like them too is just too easy, they will quickly lose interest. I don’t mean play “hard-to-get”. I mean, don’t push for a face-to-face meeting. Don’t email them or IM them too frequently. Play it safe and play it cool.

A Woman's Guide to Writing a Great Profile

OK…the time has come. You have joined an online dating service or two. Now you must write that all-important profile… the one that will attract attention and reel in the man of your dreams… but where to start? Maybe writing isn’t even something you think you do all that well. Even so, you can do this.

The first thing is to be absolutely honest about yourself. You are looking for that man who will like…maybe someday love…YOU….THE REAL YOU! Examine past relationships and list the things that you liked and the things you did not like. If he smoked in the house and you hated it, you won’t like it any better the next time. If you love cats and will always want to own one or more, say that you are an animal lover and want indoor pets. Someone who hates cats or is allergic to them is not the guy for you.

Accent the things that make you unique. If you play the piano well, you really want Mr. Right to appreciate it. If you run in marathons, a couch potato is not a good match. If you love art, you really don’t want a man who thinks Picasso is an ice cream flavor.

Describe the things that are vital in your life. If volunteering is the one thing that makes you feel useful and worthwhile, you want someone who would, at the very least, support you if not join you in your volunteer projects. When you get beyond superficial things, you will attract men who share your values.

Invest in your online profile by hiring a professional photographer for your first online picture. This is so important. The picture is the FIRST thing men see. The second thing is that they read what you have written about yourself. Some online dating sites even provide you with a list of photographers in your area that specialize in online dating site photos.

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Online Dating For Single Men

No matter what your age, height, weight or physical appearance, there are thousands of women out there eager to meet you and eager for your company…whether short-term or long-term relationships are what you want. If you have found yourself suddenly “on-the-market” again after a relationship has dissolved or are just too busy with your work to spend a lot of time looking for a lady to keep you company, online dating can open the door to the dating scene for you.

The good news is that all you need is a computer and an internet connection to get started. The first thing to do is find an online dating site that fits your needs. There are the large sites that offer many extras like live video chat and even match you up with ladies using your profiles and, also, a lot of sites that cater to special interests like religious preferences, outdoor enthusiasts, gays, etc. You need to choose one or two that will meet your needs. I don’t recommend the free sites. The paid sites have a money back guarantee if you aren’t satisfied and the investment is small. A whole month costs less than one dinner and movie date.

The next thing you need to do is write a killer, but honest, profile and upload a recent but flattering picture of yourself. Now you are all set. Start contacting ladies whose profiles sound interesting to you and answer any lady who contacts you…and do so promptly…not, however, on holidays or weekends. You don’t want to appear that desperate. Don’t give up after a month and think you will never find the right lady for you. New people join online dating services daily and at least half of them are ladies many, of whom, will want to meet you.

Online Dating Can Be Tough

Here’s a little secret that those of the female persuasion keep from us guys: Women, even very beautiful women, like to be approached by a confident and interesting man. Are you surprised? It’s true…and confident and interesting are much more important than looks to ladies of all ages, too. That’s true for internet dating, as well as, dating in your brick and mortar world but we’re talking about internet dating here…so back to the subject at hand.

Once you have joined an online dating service, you will find that there a lot more men than women and that the men are much more likely to browse profiles and make initial contacts than women. Yes, it’s a woman’s world…still. It’s “traditional” for men to make the first move. It always has been and it always will be. Some things never change. That’s why your profile and picture are so important.

Remember…confident and interesting….and that does not translate to cocky and self-centered. It’s important that your profile lets people know that you have friends you care about and that you are passionately interested in a variety of things…not JUST sports. Another thing about that all-important profile….please don’t start it with, “I’m the guy your mama warned you about”.

You will have just shot yourself in the foot with that line. Another one to never use is, “I could be the man of your dreams”. The lady HOPES you are but she will be the judge of that…so don’t insult her intelligence. Remember….exude confidence and interesting and you will find that lady you have been looking for…or she will find you.

Won’t it be nice to have the ladies contacting you instead of you having to do everything? If you write a great profile that stands out in the crowd, that will happen.

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Dating Online ABC

Ask the Right Questions First

OK. You have joined a couple of dating services and written a killer profile. You’ve uploaded a good picture and now you are going to chat with a contact. What now? How do you start separating those who have real potential and those who don’t have any potential at all? You need to find out something about who this strange woman really is and not just who she wants you to believe she is. It would be nice if women wore labels like “Gold Digger” or “Daddy’s girl”….but they don’t so it’s up to you to find these things out and you can’t just ask direct questions. You need to know what mistakes you can avoid making and how to impress this lady if you decide you want to do that.

After you are past the initial small talk, ask her, “What are the biggest mistakes guys make when dating online?” Listen carefully to her answers. She’s going to tell you a lot about herself and her views on men in general.

Next you should ask her, “What do you really think about online dating?” Now she will tell you if she has had any bad experiences dating o line and help you to avoid making the same things wrong.

Now for the all-important one…..”What caused the break up in your last relationship?” If she puts all the blame on the guy, you should probably move on to the next prospect. If she takes all the blame herself, you should probably do the same. If she says the breakup was by mutual consent or that the relationship just wasn’t right for either of them, you’ve heard the right answer. Move forward but always with caution.

Asking the right questions will give you insight and make you more confident when you meet the lady for the first time.

Honesty Really is the Best Policy

When you join an online dating service, you are looking for a girl that you can like…even come to love. That girl is looking for a guy that SHE can like or even love. What you aren’t looking for is a girl who would like your best friend or your idea of what the perfect guy looks like or talks like or thinks like. So, in order to find the right girl for you…and she IS out there…you need to be completely honest with yourself about yourself when writing the online profile, during the dating process and beyond.

The best way to begin writing your profile is to carefully analyze your past relationship (s). What was right? What was wrong? What things really made you like the last girl? Which didn’t? Don’t assume that just because you hated that your last girl was so totally self-involved that she couldn’t see anything else, you’ll be able to overlook that quality this time. You won’t.

If you aren’t 6’1” with a six-pack to be proud of, don’t claim to be. If you are a bar tender, don’t claim to be a lawyer with a six figure income. If you are 40 going on 50, don’t pretend to be 30 something.

Remember, the idea here is to find a girl who will like you exactly like you are. If you have lied in your profile, the first face-to-face meeting will remove all her doubt that you are a liar…and probably a cheat, as well.

Lastly, once you have found a girl that you believe can be the one for you, for goodness sakes, cancel your membership to the online dating service. After all, you know and she knows that online dating services are intended for those who are looking…not those who have found or been found.

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A Man's Secrets to Successful Online Dating

People have taken to online dating like a duck takes to water…because it works…or, at least, it can work. Women are, in general, terrified of meeting a man that she has been chatting with online. All they have heard about are the scary things that can happen…and, I must say, they have a right to be careful to the extreme. That’s not only wise but vital. So what’s a nice guy to do? You aren’t a pervert, a sexual predator, or a weirdo. You are just a nice guy looking for “the” girl for you.

You must be patient. Don’t press her for personal information like her real name or where she lives. Keep your conversations light and fun until she feels comfortable talking with you online. Don’t try to rush her into meeting face-to-face. She will think you are desperate or a pervert. Patience. Patience. Patience.

Be absolutely honest about your physical appearance and job. A good relationship has never been, and will never be, built on lies and deceit. Eventually she will find out the truth anyway and there you are back at square one.

A picture really is worth a thousand words. Post many pictures of yourself doing your everyday activities and make them full body shots, not just head shots. If you were dating a girl in the real world she wouldn’t just see your head.

Once the discussion has been opened about meeting face-to-face for the first time, suggest that you meet in a very public place, during daylight hours and that she bring a friend with her. After all, you have nothing to hide. You’ve told her the truth about yourself and she has already seen a lot of pictures of you. The only thing left is to make her feel safe meeting you.

Popular Online Dating Activities For Men

Heads up, gents. Online dating can open up new doors of opportunities with a little help from real world dating tips that work. Spice up your matchmaking with some of these ideas.

Looks Count
Comment on how attractive she is. Yes, women do want to know they are pretty, even if they’re online and you can’t see them and have no idea. So in your communications, ask questions that would help you know, but in an unobtrusive way like – how do you wear your hair? And then say how attractive that must look.

Kindness Counts
Point out nice things or the lemonade in life – nice things the other person has mentioned, nice acts the person has done, good things on the news latterly, etc. Be upbeat, and forget those lemons in life. Even in email a person can shout, by using all capital letters. So show manners and kindness. Keep swearing, unkind remarks, prejudice, etc. out of your communications. And “do unto others….”

So add some helpful real-world tips that do work (a lot of the time anyway) into your online dating equations. And come up on the positive side of romance – and enjoy more lemonade!

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Establishing Online Dating Relationships: Safety First

Online dating can be fun. But don’t neglect safety and common sense when you try to hook up with a mate. At minimum, take caution in the following areas.

Protect Your Computer

Take care of your equipment and systems before you head out into the Internet realm. You need to have a firewall and anti-virus protection for your email and for when you search websites and interact online. At the bare minimum, you may want these two solutions that are offered at no charge to home computer users (i.e. not for commercial use): Free Firewall from ZoneAlarm www.zonelabs.com ,Free Anti-Virus from AVG Anti-Virus www.grisoft.com

Protect Yourself

Take care of yourself, too, by choosing appropriate dating sites. Seek and choose a reputable online dating service. How? Begin by asking around with friends, neighbors, co-workers and others you may know who have tried online dating, and see which places they recommend. In addition, search “online dating services” and keep a notebook of their URLs or website links, the fees, rules and regulations, complete contact information of each and any other useful information that spikes your interest. Then compare each place. Try only those places where you feel safe. Avoid the others.

So take care. Arm your computer – and yourself- with the correct tools and knowledge!

Growing Online Dating Relationships

Just like regular real-world relationships, online relationships need tending, to grow over time. Here are some quick growing tips.

1.Communication needs to “feel” right for both of you. If one of you is too pushy about meeting, for instance, that can give off bad vibes. So don’t rush. Take time to learn more about each other and develop trust.

2.Share special online and offline fun times. Online – send greeting cards, links to favorite places to upload digital photos of your favorite pet, download music and video clips, post on favorite forums of interest. Offline- if you’re exchanging addresses or post office boxes, send print greeting cards and postcards, small items from your area (like a key chain with your state bird).

3.Take time and make time. Does your online date get in touch with you regularly? Do you do the same? Neglecting virtual meetings can be considered abuse or neglect, so treat each other’s time with respect. If it’s lacking, might mean time to move on.

4.Respect each others privacy. Don’t share personal email addresses or digital photos online, for example, if your online date sent you the information in confidence.

Tend your online relationship. Water it with care and over time it can sprout and grow.

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Popular Online Dating Activities

All types of everyday activities are growing in popularity online these days like sharing photos and greeting cards. In fact, both of these even go hand in hand with online dating opportunities, one of the most popular online activities for singles today.

Before actually meeting in person, many dates get acquainted online first. Here’s how.

Photos - As a wonderful keepsake of your budding romance, create an online photo album for your new cyber-mate. Include digital photos of favorite outdoor scenes, pets, flowers, cars, silly moments, your computer corner or laptop, etc. Then you’ll even have more to discuss during online dates via emails and chat rooms. Search for "photo albums" to find places that store your photos.

Greeting Cards- Regardless of where the person lives, you can mail a greeting card. If privacy and security is an issue, check into renting an inexpensive P.O. Box (check the Yellow Pages). You do not have to be an artist to make something homemade and special for the new friend in your life. Even making a special, personalized greeting card would be appreciated and show your date that you care enough to take the time needed to make something by hand. Search your favorite search engine for online greeting cards to send, too. They range from free to low cost and can be sent in a click.

So get online and get active! No need to risk meeting in person until you get more familiar with each other online first. So take the online plunge!

More Popular Online Dating Activities

A couple of popular online activities are sharing recipes and bidding at auctions. And both of these easily fit well into online dating opportunities, one of the most popular online activities for singles today.

To help many dates get better acquainted online, here’s what potential cyber-dates do.

Sharing Recipes – People get tired talking about the weather. So a popular subject to turn to is food. Sharing favorite foods and recipes helps break the ice and even forms friendships over culinary skills – or lack of – and tastes. Search your favorite search engine for “free recipes” to share. Take photos of your culinary creations and share them with your date, too.

Bidding at Auctions – Ebay auctions sell nearly anything and everything! So surf around and enter searches like the dates you were in middle school. Share cool memorabilia photos of old games and toys from when you were a child or when your parents or grandparents were little; The Dating Game, Oscar Mayer wiener whistles, The Partridge Family Album, Bobby Sherman’s Album, 45’s and more.

Online dating can be an educational and fun experience. So learn more about each other and have fun while you’re at it. Take a cyber-stroll down memory lane together and see what’s cookin’.

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